Pain Reliever

Name: Aleve

Age: Expiration date optional

Body Type: Curvy

Looking For:

Someone who is mysterious and probably misunderstood.  Substance use is acceptable as long as it’s for healing purposes only.

My Ideal Date:  

Watching old VHS tapes of Tom Waits and comparing it to your band.

Three Things I Can’t Live Without:

1.)The joy of helping others

2.)Water

3.)The back shelf of your pantry

Faith/Spirituality:

I’m at a point in my life where I know what works.  I have faith in myself.

One thing I am exceptionally good at:

Decreasing a tense situation.

Favorite Song:

Complicated by Avril Lavigne

Favorite Quote:

“Be My Headache.”

Book Release

Dear Readers,

Some of you have been asking when and where you can buy my book.  According to my publisher, the print version will be released later this month.  I will keep you updated.

The book, Object Relations, will feature many of the stories from this blog.  Illustrations are done by Petra Wagner and the photographer is Tom Haynes.

For additional information, please feel free to email me directly at: RebeccaColesLee@gmail.com

The Gold Medal

https://mytrendingstories.com/article/the-dating-profile-of-a-gold-medal/

Hello readers,

I am currently writing for the Trending Stories website that is linked above. I will be writing various articles there that I may post on here.  This is a test run to see if it’s working properly on the site.  I hope it is!

–

 

Name: Goldie

 

Age: Timeless

 

Ideal Partner:  Someone with ambition and loyalty.  Someone who loses like a winner.  Someone who shows up.

 

Ideal Date:  Hanging out in your bedroom.

 

My Biggest Life Question:  Am I worthy enough?

 

Favorite Quote:  “Everyone’s A Winner”

 

Contact me:

If: You’re a winner

At: The dollar store (next to the costume jewelry)

The Straw

Photograph by Tom Haynes

http://www.TheDrabble.wordpress.com

Dear Potential Date,

I will let you know how I feel at all times. I’m very up front. I’m attracted to naturally red, full lips. No lipstick, please. I also prefer real beauty. I’m very picky when it comes to looks. If you’re older than thirty, please don’t reply.

I’m not the kind to call back right away. If we have a good time, I’ll let you know, but I’m not into that whole clingy thing. My idea of a perfect date is hanging out in bars that serve Belgian beer in a glass. No bottles for me. If you’re too cheap to buy your own drinks, please, don’t respond to this ad.

I’m looking for a carefree type. Not the kind that’s going to hold me down. Not the kind that’s going to get mad every time I’m with another. I can’t be tied down right now. I prefer more of the Bohemian lifestyle.

In short, shoot me an email if you don’t suck. (I already do that well enough on my own)

– The Straw

The Water Bottle

Photograph by Tom Haynes  https://tnhaynes.wordpress.com/author/tnhaynes/ 

Name: Water Bottle

Age: Timeless

Sex: Female

Location: Your apartment

Strengths: I’m adaptable and can conform to any situation. Whatever holds me, keeps me.

Weaknesses: I move around a lot. A bit of a lush. I don’t like a lot of excitement.

Three things I couldn’t live without:

1. Plastic
2. Purity
3. Transparency
4. A thirst for knowledge

What I’m looking for: Someone that melts my rough edges. A drifter. A free flowing poet. Someone who won’t drain me when I’m already down.

Turn Offs:

• Dry sense of humor
• People that can’t go with the flow
• Impure thoughts

Perfect date:

I like long hikes in the woods and sunny afternoons outside.

Favorite Movies:

Drowning Mona, The Great Flood, Water for Chocolate, Rain man.

Favorite Books:

The Perfect Storm.

Favorite Quote: “I’m not looking to be your flavor of the month.”

Wooden Tray

Name: Woody

Age: Timeless

Looking For: Some light fun. Not interested in heavy conversation.

Best attributes: Sturdy. Tall. I carry my own weight. Flexible. Well balanced. No baggage – what you see is what you get.

Ideal date: Lounging around the living room with a cup of tea and a good movie.

Favorite Quote: Always stand up for what’s right.

3 things I can’t live without:

– Long legs

– Stability

– Being needed

Things I can’t tolerate:

– A watery personality

– Stains

– Scratch marks