The Gold

watchbracelet

 

“I don’t do sparkles.”

“You don’t have to if I’m there.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Everybody needs shine in their life.”

“It’s better to be bright.”

“That’s enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sick of this.”

“What ‘this’?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Let’s not be trashy.”

“Just because you’re old, doesn’t mean you’re classic.”

“Do we need to stay home tonight?”

“Depends if you’re going.”

“Are you?”

“Should I?”

“Yes. As long as you’re not ostentatious.”

“Why is a little attention so bad?”

“It’s not the amount, it’s the type.”

“Fine.  I’ll stay home.”

“You can’t stay home.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to have a bad time.”

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The Microwave

microwave

Name: Mike

Birthday: April 1946

Occupation: Making you hot

Description:
While not always a self starter, I’m always a self server.

I don’t mind getting down and dirty in some college apartments, but I prefer to have my own space.

Looking for:
Something easy, fast, not too messy.
Idea of a perfect date:

I like to hang out at home. Just about anything can turn me on, so bring on the late nights.

3 things I can’t live without:
1.) Power
2.) Dim lighting
3.) Bagel bites

Do you like pets?
I prefer Furby’s.

Favorite song:

Microwave Boogie by Skip Jackson

Personal Quote:

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the microwave.

 

http://azcapitoltimes.com/news/2016/04/05/can-you-really-open-a-ballot-envelope-using-a-microwave/

The Pillow

pillow

Name: Fluffy

Age: Timeless

Three things I can’t live without:

Softness

The smell of fresh spring rain

Geese

What I’m looking for:

Someone with a good head on their shoulders.

Perfect date:

Someone who will hold me tight on long winter nights.

Favorite movies:

Sleepless in Seattle.

The Burning Bed.

Four Sheets to the Wind.

Favorite Quote:

“I’m a dreamer’s paradise.”

The Dating Game (The Lipstick)

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NAME: Ravishing Rouge

AGE: 6 months

RACE: Red

INTERESTED IN: Lips

FAVORITE QUOTE: “Nothing ages worse than a beautiful product’s ego.”

LOOKING FOR: Someone well rounded with good conversational skills. Must not be brighter than I am, but can’t be too dull. Preferably someone with good taste in food.

FOUR THINGS I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT:

A tough exterior

Gloss

Soft moisturizer

Low lighting

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: There is no such thing as natural beauty. Progress not perfection is the key.

PET PEEVE: Lip smacking and smoking.

WORST FEAR: Being placed on a shelf where I am out of sight.

WHAT DOES YOUR IDEAL DATE LOOK LIKE? A fancy dinner out on the town followed by a play and then dancing.

ASPIRATIONS: To be the brightest and most radiant that I can be.