The Mouthwash

mouthwash

Dear Journal,
I think I’m losing my mind.

I tried asking the Mousse out yesterday. It’s lonely with no one else in the medicine cabinet besides us. Her smell is like that of a coconut and a peach mixed with something scientific and brilliant. I had been staring at her for the past 3 weeks, but she never notices. Instead, she’s the carefree type that is too in her own world to bother with anyone else’s. She’s suave and comes into any situation with a confidence that she’s going to stand her ground. I admire her.

“Hi,” The minute I said it, I knew it was a mistake. What would I say? I hadn’t done this in years. “I was wondering if you’d like to get out of here sometime? With me,” God I was so stupid. Of course I meant with me. “If that’s okay,” I added.

She stared at me for a minute and said nothing. I could feel the seconds on the clock ticking away with such a cocky and arrogant march. The shelf we were standing on suddenly felt harder than before and I swear to God we were tilting just a little to the left. And then she burst into laughter. Full on gales of high pitched giggles surrounded and echoed the entire bathroom. Everyone could hear.

“You’re like… how old?” She then straightened up and tried to compose herself. “It’s just so unnatural.”
It’s always the young, organic, ones that move with such ease. Although I know I’ve been shelved, I still feel like we could have made the best out of a sticky situation.

Sincerely, as always,
– Mouthwash

5 responses to “The Mouthwash”

  1. Don’t worry, my Dear Mouthwash! Our time, (that of us oldies, I mean) is not gone yet. Whatever would they do without You? As for this ‘mousse’ business, I had to look it up on google. Keep Your chin up.

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  2. zacharybinks19 Avatar
    zacharybinks19

    I totally relate to this post, staring down the barrel at thirty, and the ladies aren’t getting any more approachable…

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  3. “Her smell is like that of a coconut and a peach mixed with something scientific and brilliant” – you can’t really blame the guy, she does sound adorable 🙂

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  4. Adorable and aromatic.

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