11:28pm: Hey, u up?
Thermometer 11:28pm: What’s that supposed to mean?
11:29pm: Just seeing whats up
Thermometer 11:30pm: Who is this?
11:30pm: I’m your #1 fan
Thermometer 11:31pm: Do you even know me?
11:31pm: I know ur hot
Thermometer 11:32pm: Stop texting me.
11:33pm: Ok- I’m serious now. Ur the 1 for me. I saw you at the CVS on 5th street, remember?
11:40pm: You were in the aisle all by yourself. I asked for your # and you gave it.
Thermometer 11:40pm: Fantastic?
11:40pm: u know it
Thermometer 11:41pm: That was two weeks ago.
11:41pm: I was working up the courage to text
Thermometer 11:41pm: Really? You seemed pretty cocky when you approached me out of nowhere.
11:42pm: It was a facade. I’m shy underneath
Thermometer 11:41: You don’t have anything underneath.
11:43pm: What are you saying?
Thermometer 11:52pm: You’re a carpet cleaner. Expiration date passed.
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The Guide To Modern Dating: