The Water Bottle

water bottlePhotograph by Tom Haynes  https://tnhaynes.wordpress.com/author/tnhaynes/ 

Name: Water Bottle

Age: Timeless

Sex: Female

Location: Your apartment

Strengths: I’m adaptable and can conform to any situation. Whatever holds me, keeps me.

Weaknesses: I move around a lot. A bit of a lush. I don’t like a lot of excitement.

Three things I couldn’t live without:

  1. Plastic
  2. Purity
  3. Transparency
  4. A thirst for knowledge

What I’m looking for: Someone that melts my rough edges. A drifter. A free flowing poet. Someone who won’t drain me when I’m already down.

Turn Offs:

  • Dry sense of humor
  • People that can’t go with the flow
  • Impure thoughts

Perfect date:

I like long hikes in the woods and sunny afternoons outside.

Favorite Movies:

Drowning Mona, The Great Flood, Water for Chocolate, Rain man.

Favorite Books:

The Perfect Storm.

Favorite Quote: “I’m not looking to be your flavor of the month.”

9 responses to “The Water Bottle”

  1. the platonic scientist Avatar
    the platonic scientist

    Glad you’re back! 🙂

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  2. Hahaha! A fab post!! Love it. And yes. Water bottles are definitely female. Hence the curvy waistline… haha! 🙂

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  3. I think I dated her once. She was a lot of fun. Why I let her go I don’t know.

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  4. Refreshingly different!

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  5. I wonder whether the author has frequent, imaginary conversations with inanimate objects? At least, I think they are one-sided. Perhaps they are both imaginary instead. I will never look at my liquid containers in quite the same way again. Thank you. I think. (Because now I am picturing them screaming as I drink them down.)

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  6. Hahahaha. Good stuff.

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  7. i always thought water to be the most sensual…nice.

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  8. Your work is filled with quiet amusement. Thank you for making us smile.

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